In-Between

February 7, 2018:

“Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” – Psalm 25:5

Patience is not something that comes natural to me, not even in the slightest. I understand the concept of it and how it should work, but actually producing patience in my life is extremely difficult. As a result, I often view my life as many seasons of “in-betweens.” Whether it’s in-between events, in-between opportunities, in-between trips, or even just in-between meals, I am constantly looking for what comes next and not so patiently waiting for it. Currently I am in what is probably the biggest “in-between” of my entire life. I’m living in America, working at my church, and trying to teach myself a language; however, I’m waiting to quit my job at church, move to Japan, and leave my family for 24 months. Each of those things from learning a language to leaving my family for 2 years is such a polar opposite from the other that I’m not sure how to be patient during the middle of the two extremes.

Yet, God in His infinite grace is molding me every single second of every single day into the image of His son. This takes lots of work for Him as He is slowly removing things that have hindered me, such as sins and selfish worldly desires, from coming closer to Him. While this seems like a process that we all should desire as Children of God, it is much more painful and raw in reality than it is on paper. When the God of all creation steps into someone’s heart and begins to tear sinful desires, selfish motives, and apathetic feelings out, everything within their flesh cries out against that process. However, the Spirit that lives in me fights just as hard against my flesh and if there is one thing that I am confident in, it is that His Spirit will always win against my flesh however painful the fight may be. The “in-between” that I find myself in every day lately, is becoming sweeter and more Holy. Because, God is teaching me that my entire life on this earth is an in-between moment. I’m in between my first breath, and what my spirit and soul were actually created for: eternal communion within the Glorious Grace of the Father.

My salvation comes from Him and the waiting is the sweetest part of that, because I know exactly what I’m waiting for and that is HIM. What happens next in this realm is just a stepping stone on the narrow road that ends in worship at His feet and that is such a beautiful hope to have. So my “in-between” is becoming a place where God is teaching me patience and giving me hope for what is to come.

Tired of the Gospel?

Tired is often used in my daily vocabulary. I don't know if the word "no" is used as often as it should be.

Ministry fills most of my breaths and conversations, most of my seconds and minutes, which has always been my dream.

Yet, I'm always tired.

Am I tired of the gospel?

No, quite the opposite.

I'm tired from the gospel.

My tiredness is not wasted, it is the fruit of a day that was spent for the glory of Jesus.

Am I a saint because of it?

Quite the opposite again... my weakness is especially exposed in ministry. It is a mirror that portrays my ugliness so that Christ can mold me and shape me.

Ministry shows me how big of a sinner I am but it also shows me how much greater a God I serve.

I am so very tired from the gospel, and I would not have it any other way. I want every waking moment of every day to be spent for Christ, and if I am not tired then I hope to push more, to fall into His glory more, to praise Him all the more.

For we should never tire of the gospel, but we should be tired from it. 

Where You are, there I'll be

Comfort has surrounded me, 

it has followed me through many places in my life always beckoning me 

to give into its pleasures and apathy.

Yet, God is rapidly surrounding me with new places where comfort cannot reach.

This is beautiful, this is good, and this is frightening.

This is where He resides.

Following Yeshua is something that comfort doesn't connect with,  because his path is radical and requires faith.

Comfort hates faith.

Where He is, is where I'll be.

Those places are filled with father-less parents and broken families.

He is in the places that seem unsafe or bound to evil because of the lack of Light and Truth.

Jesus resides in the places of inadequacy because His name is made greater.

His places are also filled with snippets of Grace that abound in glorious ways because comfort isn't holding Grace back.

My life is filled with newness and abundance, inadequacy and discomfort, but it is where He is.

So that's where I'll be.

Adultery Meets Majesty

Caught.

She is caught in her act of lustfulness with someone other than her husband. Ripped out of the bed and away from the person who she was giving herself over to, she is being dragged down the streets to be judged.

Her mind was not on her commitment she had made to her husband and to God. Her mind was on something she wanted badly, something that would interfere with her commitments.

The “holy” teachers who have dragged her here, throw her in front of Him.

No. Please not Yeshua. She knows this man, this teacher. He is the one whose words are like no other. But of course He knows the law, of course He knows her penalty.

The “holy” ones ask Him to pronounce judgment on her. They want her stoned. She deserves to be stone.
 She knows that this is the right penalty, this is what she must pay for her sin. She looks at Yeshua drawing in the dust, ignoring these teachers of the law.

He stops drawing.
Her heart drops.

He looks up at them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

He looks back down, begins to draw again.

Her heart swells when she realizes what Yeshua just did.
Her heart continues to pound just like the sound of the stones falling to the ground. Everyone of them dropped their judgement stone and left her.

She stands still.

Oh, but Yeshua is still there.

And in that moment she realizes something horrifying.
He is able to cast the stone. This man is without blemish, without sin.

He stands up and looks at her. She refuses to meet his piercing gaze for she knows the judgement that will meet her. 

“Where are they,” Yeshua’s smooth voice breaks the quiet “has no one condemned you?”

Her eyes meet His and she sees grace, something that she has never seen before. Mercy flowing from this man, this Yeshua.

She replies, “No one, sir.”

In that moment she remembers her broken commitment, and she decides to remake it. She commits herself to glory. Her life belongs to Him.

He could have thrown the stone.

 But instead these words of endless grace flow from His lips, “Then neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin.”

From that moment her life was never the same.

One moment of discovering majesty changed her.

One second in the presence of Yeshua restored her.

The Birth of Salvation

December twenty-fourth, a night covered by darkness that smothered the fallen world.

Yet, also a night of expectancy.

The night angels stood at the borders of the unseen realm in anticipation, wondering why He had chosen to do it this way.

As the darkness grows colder and the spirits from the realm of the deep rejoice in their dominion, Mary feels the life inside her urging to come forth. To be born into this world of darkness and destruction.

And she shudders.

But God, in his infinite mercy and patience, waits.

            The night eventually wanes and darkness breaks forth into light.

 A new day.

Yet, the realms of the deep still claim dominion even as the sun appears.

            The day brings Mary outrageous pain and to the angels it brings extravagant excitement. The sun makes its cycle as it has for thousands of years, but once again darkness claims its position; however, this night would be different.

            Amongst the screams of labor from the mouth of Mary, the anxious pacing of Joseph, and the rejoicing from the realms of the dark ones over their dominion, God brings forth light. (Isaiah 9:2) Blinding light shines in his created sky and eternal light comes forth from the womb of the pure-girl.

            The angels stand at the ready for the command and when it comes they jump into action. Glorious praise and unending purity flow from the mouths of the angels and into the worn and battered ears of the shepherds. The same shepherds who just hours ago were bound by the fallen world.

But now… Now the darkness is blown away by this light.

The shepherds were the first to hear of the God-child who had come to break the chains of this fallen world. (Luke 2:8-14) They made the journey to Him, with the light in the sky leading the way and the angel chorus behind.

            Mary and Joseph were the first of the broken human race to see the heartbeat of God. They wrapped the creator of all in a dirty and bloodied cloth and laid him in a stone trough.

            The one who had breathed the Spirit of Life into man at the beginning of time was just now taking his first breath as a baby. (John 1:5)

And the angels rejoiced.

And God smiled.

Just twenty-four hours before the entire world was consumed with sin and no hope for eternity.

But now, through the first cries of the Christ-child, hope was born. (Luke 1:79)

Salvation was born.